Being isolated at home alone presents some challenges. While everyone should be isolating at home to protect themselves and prevent the spread of the coronavirus, some of us have to do it alone. In order to not go crazy, I have had to come up with ways to fill up my days and keep some sense of structure. I’ve been doing this by taking a number of online classes, reading, continuing in my struggle to learn Kiswahili, and praying. Given that this is Holy Week, I’ve also been streaming the Easter Triduum liturgies and have downloaded and watched several videos reflecting on the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus. I’ve been pretty disciplined and regimented in my activities. I don’t spend time just laying around or sleeping for hours on end. I think this type of regiment is the best way for me to not only survive, but thrive during this crisis. The other thing I’ve obviously been doing is writing these blog posts. I’m not sure who actually reads my blog, but I will continue posting to it in any event, as the process of writing it helps me a lot. My blog provides a mechanism for me to reflect on various things and put my thoughts down on paper so to speak. Thinking of things in your head is one thing. Actually having to formulate ideas enough to be able to express them coherently in a written reflection is another. Whether I succeed or not is another question, but the process helps me cope with things and that is good enough for me. I would love it if others get some benefit from my blog posts, or at least get to keep up with what I’m doing and thinking, but the process of writing the posts in itself is important to me right now.
While I have always tried to include some sort of religious or spiritual reflection in my blog posts in the past, the primary focus of my posts was to share my mission experiences with my family, friends, and anyone else who cared to know about my life and work here in Kenya. Given that I’m pretty much confined to my house, there just really isn’t a lot of experiences I can share at this particular point in time. I wish things were different and I could go back to working in my ministry, but our Lord has other plans. I trust in him and try to do the best I can under the circumstances. Being alone at home has given me a lot more time to think and reflect on things – my life, the world around me, my faith, and my relationship with God – and my blog posts, not surprisingly, have turned in this direction. I have no formal theology training so to speak, so what I say is just the work of a poor sinner trying to make sense of what I believe and why in the midst of what is going on in the world around us.
As yesterday was Good Friday, I streamed and watched the Celebration of the Lord’s Passion. As I don’t have wi-fi, I had to stream the liturgy from my cell phone (I actually used my phone as a hot spot and watched the live stream on my laptop). The live stream that I watched was from St. Joseph’s Cathedral in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates. Yes, the Mass was in English. I chose this liturgy as I wanted one that was around 3 PM local time, the time that we believe Jesus died.
I love the Easter Triduum liturgies and the Good Friday liturgy is no exception. The readings are so powerful, beginning with the first reading’s account of the prophet Isaiah’s Suffering Servant. The parallels between the Suffering Servant and Jesus are hard to miss and it is therefore no wonder that the Church sees Jesus as fulfilling the prophesy of the Suffering Servant. The Responsorial Psalm contains, what is for me, one of the most heartbreaking verses in all of scripture – “I am forgotten like the unremembered dead; I am like a dish that is broken.” When I want to contemplate what Jesus must have felt like hanging there on the Cross, rejected by his own people and abandoned by his friends, I need to go no further than this verse. In the second reading from the Letter to the Hebrews, St. Paul tells us “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has similarly been tested in every way”. All I can say is lucky for me or else I wouldn’t stand a chance. My mode of operation is more often than not “For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate.”, a great line from St. Paul’s Letter to Roman’s which I have quoted many times in the past and probably will continue to quote many times in the future as it perfectly encapsulates for me my struggles to love as God loves us.
While the readings and responsorial psalm provided me with a lot to contemplate, the Good Friday Liturgy is centered around St. John’s Passion Narrative. There is enough in the few pages of this narrative to contemplate for the rest of my life. However, one thing that struck me from yesterday’s reading of the passion narrative, which I’d like to explore is that of five figures who appear in the narrative and played a role in the events surrounding the passion and death of Jesus. Those five figures being St. Peter, the centurion, Joseph of Arimathea, Nicodemus and St. John. For those of you paying close attention and who are really on the ball, will say “Hey wait a minute. There is no centurion mentioned in the St. John’s Good Friday Passion Narrative.” And you would be correct. However, the centurion appears in St. Matthew’s Passion Narrative, which is read on Palm Sunday. Since these are just two different accounts of what happened on that day almost 2000 years ago, I’d like to include the centurion also.
I know many people question why Catholics pray to saints when we can just go directly to the big guy. While this is certainly true, as I’ve expressed many times, I firmly believe that God wills that we all work together for the salvation of all. This includes those who have died and those of us still on the battlefield fighting the good fight. For me, saints also serve as models for how to live my lives in union with God and how to confront the challenges that I encounter in living out my faith. We are blessed to have two millennia of saints to learn from, saints who come in all different shapes and sizes. Saints are not porcelain figures who lived in some sort of perfect universe, but rather are real people with real struggles, problems, and temptations like you and me. Some saints did a better job than others from beginning to end. However, in the end, all that matters is where we end up. We need to run the race and fight the good fight, but there will always be struggles along the way. What matters is how we react to these challenges. The saints that I relate best to are those who struggled along the way, like I do. That’s why the saints I relate best to are those like St. Paul, St. Augustine, and yes, St. Peter. While St. Peter didn’t necessarily have the sordid pasts of St. Paul and St. Augustine, he obviously was a flawed person like all of us. And yet, Jesus chose Peter as the rock on which to build his Church. While St. Paul and St. Augustine did not live exemplary lives as young men, they are now not only saints, but two of the most important figures in the history of the Church.
Peter was the type of person who often seemed to operate in the mode of open mouth and insert foot into mouth. I lived in the Boston area for many years and for much of that time my bishop was Cardinal Sean O’Malley. Cardinal O’Malley described St. Peter as a cross between Archie Bunker and Ralph Kramden (for those of us old enough remember these television characters). At one point, Jesus said to Peter “Get behind me Satan. You are a stumbling block to me.” Not exactly a ringing endorsement. St. Peter, the rock on which Jesus will build his church, denies he even knows Jesus and completely abandons him when the going gets tough. He is no where to be found at the crucifixion. And yet despite his shortcomings, Peter really loved Jesus. He just wasn’t perfect and struggled with things as we struggle with things. In the end, Peter gave up his life for Jesus, by crucifixion, like Jesus. I relate so much to St. Peter especially because of his shortcomings, but pray through his intercession that I may love Jesus as he did.
When Jesus expired on the cross and he saw the earthquake and all that was happening, the centurion exclaimed, “Truly, this was the Son of God!” Here you have a pagan and a Roman official, who was expected to worship the emperor as a living god, making this heartfelt confession of faith. I view the centurion as representative of those of us who at times stray down the wrong path and away from God due to addictions or being caught up in sin, but who keep their hearts open to the inflowing of grace that God so much wants to lavish on each one of us. When touched by God, the centurion responded in faith. I have no doubt that I will continue at times to go off the track, but if I am receptive to God’s grace, God will draw me back.
In the Passion Narrative, we are told that Joseph of Arimathea was a rich man and secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews. Joseph took Jesus’s body, wrapped it in clean linen and laid it in his new tomb. In the Gospels of Mark and Luke, we also learn that Jospeh of Arimathea was a virtuous and righteous man who was looking for the kingdom of God. He was a respected member of the council, but had not consented to their decision and action. I see in Joseph of Arimathea someone who authentically loved Jesus, but did so from from the shadows out of fear of retribution. Joseph of Arimathea is venerated as a saint by the Catholic Church. I look to him for the strength and guidance to boldly proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ even in difficult times. Being a Christian, much less a Catholic, is extremely difficult in today’s culture. We face many of the same challenges that Joseph of Arimathea faced in proclaiming the faith. I pray for his help to be the witness that Jesus calls me to be.
In the passion account, Nicodemus brings a mixture of myrrh and aloes, which weighed about one hundred pounds, and assists Joseph of Arimathea to prepare the body of Jesus for burial. From earlier in John’s Gospel, we know that Nicodemus was not only a Pharisee, but a member of the Sanhedrin, the ruling body of the Jews. Nicodemus is the one who came to Jesus at night to discuss his teachings. In this discussion, we hear perhaps the most quoted words that Jesus ever spoke, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. (John 3:16) Later on in John’s Gospel, Nicodemus defends Jesus by telling the Pharisees that the law requires that a person be heard before being judged. To me, Nicodemus represents those challenging time when our job or position brings us face to face with situations where they may have to make difficult decisions between what our job is asking do and what they know to be right. In today’s world, many people face these types of challenges with real consequences on their ability to provide for themselves and their families. As seen by his discussion with Jesus, Nicodemus also represents a sincere desire to accept and understand Jesus’s teachings. Not that we can always completely understand why some things are the way they are, but because we love God and know that everything he does for us is for our benefit, we accept in faith and love what Jesus taught and continues to teach us through the Church. We see from Nicodemus that the more we know Jesus, the more we love him. Nicodemus is also proclaimed a saint by the Catholic Church. I pray to Nicodemus that I may continue my lifelong journey to know Jesus better and in doing so grow ever closer to him.
Finally we come to St. John, who tradition holds to be the beloved disciple, the one who Jesus loved. John is not only one of the twelve, but part of Jesus’s inner circle so to speak, who was selected to witness the most important events in the life of Jesus, such as the transfiguration. John is the only apostle who remained with Jesus to the end, standing by the cross as Jesus hung dying. John is the one who took Mary into his home after Jesus’s death. However, John is also the one who in Mark’s Gospel, along with his brother James, asks Jesus to sit one on his right and the other on is left in his glory. In other words, they are angling for the best spots in heaven. In Matthew’s Gospel it is their mother who makes the request. I see John as someone who in all respects seems to be the perfect disciple, but yet was tempted by the lure of glory and honor. We all in some way look for approval and recognition for what we do, but Jesus warns “When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.” (Matthew 6:16) I pray to St. John for his help to always act out pure giving of myself and not what I will get out of it. As the devil tempted Jesus with power and glory, it is a certainty that he will tempt us in the same way.
Jesus’s mission here on earth comes to its fulfillment in the events recalled in the Passion Narrative. Jesus’s death and the resurrection, which we look forward to on Easter Sunday, are at the core of our faith and without which our faith makes no sense. The events of these few days changed everything. They changed our world. In the midst of the evil we recall in Jesus’s passion and death as well as the challenging events that we are currently undergoing here in the world today, we can gain insight into our own struggles and how to overcome them by looking at the lives of the saints. Saints are persons just like us, with the same imperfections and hangups that we do. Saints are persons who at times struggled to live the kind of life that Jesus asks us to live, but persevered until they got it right by fixing their eyes on Jesus. Most importantly, saints are what we are called to be. It is why God created us in the first place.
Before I came to Kenya, I would often listen to Relevant Radio, a Catholic radio station, while driving or stuck in traffic. One program that I would sometimes catch is called Busted Halo. I always thought that was a perfect name for a show that focuses the reality of living out our faith in the real world. As the show states, “we are all saints in the making yet our life’s journey is fraught with imperfections, struggles, and mistakes. Each of us sports a Halo that is either dented, scratched, tarnished… in some way Busted. God loves us despite this and continually calls us to polish our halos up to a nice golden shine.” Nicely said.
Mungu ni mwema. God is good.
Please consider donating to my HOPE ministry project, which provides educational assistance to orphans and other vulnerable children, particularly those impacted by AIDS, in Mombasa, Kenya. Although schools are currently closed during the coronavirus crisis, many of our HOPE families urgently need assistance with food and other basic necessities. With the lockdowns in place to try to prevent the spread of the coronavirus, these families have no means to earn money to buy food and pay expenses. They need our help.
You can learn more about the HOPE project on our website.
